


Hugs and Kisses

by TMar



Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 07:26:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: After Victoria dies, Fraser craves contact from someone close to him.





	Hugs and Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> One that somehow missed being archived. Originally written in 1997.

Ray Vecchio walked slowly up the stairs to Benton Fraser's apartment,  
dreading the conversation they were about to have. He really, really didn't  
want to have to tell Benny this, but he knew he had to. Had to tell him, so  
that it came from a friend, not from a callous City employee. But he still  
dragged his feet, postponing the conversation as long as he could.

He walked in without knocking, and found Fraser sitting at the table,  
looking with distaste at the plate of food that sat there.

As soon he saw Ray, however, Fraser's face broke into a sunny smile, and  
lit up the world that Ray inhabited.

When had he come to think of it that way, Ray wondered. When had the  
Mountie become so important to him? Why did he miss him so much when they  
didn't see each other? He didn't know, and he didn't really want to know.  
Benny was his best friend, and that was all there was to it.

"Ray!" Fraser said.

Ray tried to sound upbeat. "Hey, Benny. What the hell are you eating?"

Fraser smiled, slightly embarrassed. "It's a new recipe I thought I'd  
try. I think I did something wrong though."

Ray walked up to the table and scrutinized the food. "Yeah, I'd say so."  
He took a breath. He always came here, and they always ordered take-out  
because Fraser was forever trying new recipes that didn't work. And he  
always paid. It grated on him sometimes, but this wasn't really one of those  
times. He'd need food for this. "You wanna order Chinese or something,  
Benny?" he asked.

Benny looked at him quizzically. "Haven't you eaten already, Ray?"

"No," Ray lied. "Didn't get a chance."

"All right, then," Fraser said, and held out his hand for Ray's  
cellphone.

Ray gave it to him, and Fraser punched in the number for the best  
take-out place this side of town. Ever since that incident with Lenny the  
pizza delivery guy and the stolen cars, Benny had told Ray that *he* would  
order food from his apartment. At least that way he could be sure there  
wouldn't be a repeat of last time.

After ordering, Fraser stared at Ray. Ray was here for more than company  
and chop suey, that was for sure. For one thing, Ray only paced when he was  
nervous, and he was pacing now. Fraser wondered if he even noticed. "Ray,  
come and sit down. The food'll be here in ten minutes."

Ray sat at the table and faced his friend. How was he going to tell Benny  
this?

"What's wrong?" Fraser asked.

Damn! He knew how fast Benny was. "I... Let's wait for the food, okay?"

"All right."

Ray sat there, trying not to squirm at the way Benny was looking at him,  
so full of concern.

Finally the food did arrive, and to Ray's surprise, Benny took out a  
twenty and paid the young man who'd delivered it.

***

They'd eaten nearly everything before Benny fixed him with a glance and  
asked again, "What is it, Ray?"

Ray swallowed the last of his food and sat back. "It's Victoria, Benny."

All the colour drained from the Mountie's face, but he didn't say a word,  
he just waited.

"She's dead."

The plastic fork in Benny's right hand snapped, and he looked down at it  
in puzzlement. "Dead?"

"Yeah, the cops finally caught up with her in Texas. She took a shot at  
them, they returned fire, usual thing. Anyway, she's dead."

Fraser put down the remains of the fork and walked to the window, not  
noticing that his hand was bleeding slightly where the plastic shards had  
cut him. "Oh, G-d." He didn't want to cry; he hadn't cried over Victoria  
since the night he'd waited for her, since the night his father's ghost had  
told him that she wasn't coming back. And now she really, truly wasn't.

Fraser put his hands on the windowsill and leaned forward, trying to stifle  
the emotion he felt, the conflict. He didn't want to cry in front of Ray,  
but... something in him was breaking, he could feel it. Without him even  
noticing, the tears were falling from his eyes.

Ray stared at Fraser, standing there so rigidly, pulling his Vulcan act  
once again. It made Ray angry and sad at the same time that Benny couldn't  
just let go and be himself, couldn't just let what he was feeling out. He  
wondered if he should leave, but then he saw, in the dim light of the  
apartment, that Benny was crying.

He stood and moved up behind him. "Benny? Are you all right?" He didn't  
expect an answer, so he was shocked when Fraser turned around and faced him,  
his cheeks stained with tears.

"I... No, Ray, I... I don't think I am..." He wiped the tears away,  
trying to calm down. He didn't know why he was crying, really - part of him  
had wanted to be with Victoria, and part of him had hated her for hurting  
Ray and his family the way she had. But he had somehow clung to the hope  
that she would come back someday, that she would go straight, that they  
could be together... All his other relationships, even the friendship he had  
with Ray, had been coloured by that hope. Now, without it, Fraser was left  
adrift. He didn't know what to do; he just stood there looking for all the  
world like a little boy lost.

Ray couldn't take the look on his friend's face. He stepped up, and  
awkwardly hugged Benny, expecting him to just stand there. He didn't expect  
Benny to clutch him as though he were a lifeline, he didn't expect Benny to  
bury his face in his neck and hold on for dear life.

They stood there for a long time, as Ray just held Benny, and Benny held  
him too. Finally, Ray heard Fraser take a breath, and then he stood up  
straight and moved away.

"Thank you, Ray," was all he said.

"Do you wanna talk about it, Benny?"

"No. I... I'll be fine. It's the shock. I guess I always thought..." He  
shook off whatever it was. "It doesn't matter now."

"Benny, it matters. It does matter."

Fraser shook his head. "No. I'll be all right. I just need some time  
alone, to... assimilate this."

Ray squeezed his shoulder. "Okay, Benny. You take as much time as you  
need." He moved in the direction of the door. "I'm gonna go home now."

Fraser nodded. "Goodnight, Ray."

"Yeah, night, Benny."

***

Ray didn't see Fraser for three days, and he was worried about him. He'd  
seen Fraser around Victoria; the man became a complete basket case every  
time her name was even mentioned. He wondered if Benny was going to be okay  
now that she was gone. He wouldn't do something stupid... would he? Ray  
didn't think so, but every time he thought of Victoria all he could see was  
Benny lying there on the train platform, his blood spilling out onto the  
ground, reciting that damn poem. He knew that Benny was probably just taking  
the time he needed to assimilate Victoria's death, but some part of him was  
terrified. He decided to go over to Benny's apartment that night.

As usual, Ray didn't knock, but walked straight in. He felt all the tension  
of the last three days drain away when he saw Benny standing at the window,  
looking out at nothing. He walked up behind him, not saying anything. He  
didn't have to; Benny would know he was there.

But Fraser didn't turn even when Ray was right behind him.

"Benny?" Ray asked, frightened again. He reached out with a hand, and  
lightly touched Fraser on the shoulder.

That was all it took. Benny turned around very quickly and hugged him  
again. "Oh, God, Ray."

Ray had no idea what was going on, but he Benny needed comforting, then  
he'd do it. He put his arms round Benny and returned the hug. "Tell me,  
Benny, please."

"I need you," Fraser whispered into his shoulder. "Ray, I need you so  
much."

It didn't occur to Ray to take what Fraser said amiss; he just asked,  
"For what, Benny?"

"Just to be here for me. I never realised how much I missed it... I never  
had it, not really, until *her*, and I thought I'd never have it again."

Ray didn't understand. "Have what?"

"Contact, Ray. Like this." And he tightened his grip on his friend.

Ray understood, or thought he did. "It's okay, Benny. Italians are very  
demonstrative. I'm used to it. While I'm not used to hugging a *guy*, I  
think I can remember from family gatherings. If it helps you," he added.

"It helps me, Ray," Fraser said, very quietly.

"What the hell, then," Ray said, pulling back slightly and smiling at his  
friend.

The blue eyes sparkled as Fraser smiled back, and then released him.

"How's it going, Benny? Really?"

"I'm fine, Ray. I've accepted that she's gone. But knowing it has left a  
space in me..." He trailed off, unable to articulate what he was feeling.

But Ray got it. "Hey, I know what that's like. After Ange and I got  
divorced, I banged every woman who'd have me, trying to fill up that space  
that Ange left."

"Did it work?" asked Fraser, smiling.

Ray shook his head. "Not really."

"Does it ever go away?"

"Yeah, eventually. You learn to find other things to fill that space,  
y'know? With me it was my work. I worked hard, made Detective second grade,  
then first. And when I wasn't at work I was with my family. It helped to  
have them."

Fraser's eyes turned up a little in an almost-smile. "So I should work  
myself to exhaustion?"

"No, Benny. Working will help, but having people around helps too." Ray  
got an idea. "You're gonna hate me for this, Benny, but it's for your own  
good! Come and stay at the house for a while. We got plenty of room, and  
Frannie'll love fussing over you."

Fraser opened his mouth to refuse, and then thought better of it. He'd  
wallowed in self-pity long enough; perhaps Ray was right, and it was time to  
let people in, just a little. "All right, Ray."

Ray was stunned into silence for a moment. "WHAT? You're *agreeing*?"

"Yes, Ray." Fraser tried not to smile.

"This is a first," Ray muttered, unable to stop himself from smiling.  
Then he went over to the closet. "Well, come on, get packing already!"

***

As predicted, Ray's family got out the Welcome mat for Fraser, and he was  
fussed over to the nth degree. And since they knew what had precipitated  
this, they basically *forced* Fraser to talk about it.

"So this is the woman who stole that money and switched it for diamonds,  
then tried to implicate Ray?" Frannie asked the first night at dinner.

"Well, yes."

"Sounds like she had it coming," Frannie remarked, to which Ray yelled,  
"Frannie!"

Tony was agreeing with Frannie rather loudly, while Ray's mother was  
asking Fraser if he was all right discussing this.

And Fraser found that he actually was all right. Somehow, talking about  
it helped.

Two days later, Frannie cornered him while he was peeling vegetables in  
the kitchen and said, "So you loved her, huh?"

"Yes, Francesca," he replied patiently.  
"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why? I mean, were you thinking with your dick instead of your brain or  
what?"

Fraser turned beet-red and managed to stammer, "It... it wasn't like  
that." And yet, he had sometimes caught himself wondering if it hadn't been  
precisely that.

"So what was it like?" pressed Frannie,

"I..." began Fraser, but Frannie interrupted him again.

"She was good in bed, I bet."

Just then, her mother came in from outside where she'd been picking a few  
tomatoes in the back garden. "Francesca! What are you asking Benton!"

"Nothing, Ma."

"Don't you give me nothing. You should wash your mouth out with soap,  
young lady!"

"Ma, I'm twenty-seven."

"I don't care how old you are, you don't talk like that in my house." Mrs  
Vecchio turned to Fraser. "Are you all right, Benton?"

"Fine, Ma'am," Fraser said, terrified and glad at the same time that  
Ray's family were so honest with him.

***

And each night when Ray would get home, Fraser would find him, and they  
would share just one hug. It made Ray a little uncomfortable, but part of  
him also liked it, and he knew that Benny seemed to draw strength from it,  
so he let it continue.

***

Two weeks passed, and Fraser finally decided it was time to go back to the  
apartment. Being here *had* helped, and having physical contact had as well.  
Frannie had made a point of kissing him on the cheek every morning and then  
hugging him to within an inch of his life. Maria would pat his arm and ask  
him to babysit. Tony would slap him on the back and tell off-colour jokes.  
Mrs Vecchio would kiss both cheeks and then pat them and mutter, "You're a  
good boy, Benton." The smaller Vecchios would grab onto his legs and beg him  
to play with them, which he would. And Ray would hug him.

Fraser knew he'd miss all that, but he knew he could go back anytime, and  
that they were there for him. It was rather overwhelming to have been  
accepted into the family this way, but he definitely had been. So he was sad  
to go, but glad to have his own space back. He returned to his apartment  
with dishes full of food and clean laundry, courtesy of the Vecchio clan.

Almost as soon as he got settled back into his apartment, he was sent to  
Vancouver to give a talk on the status of Liaison Office of the Consulate.

***

Benny had been gone for four days, and Ray was climbing the walls. He  
admitted to himself that he really missed Benny. Benny was like another  
member of his family, he told himself, and he wanted him back soon. He knew  
that Benny's flight was tonight, but when he'd called the Consulate,  
Thatcher had told him that she'd be sending a Consulate vehicle to pick  
Fraser up, so he went to the apartment to wait.

It was almost 11.30 pm when the door finally opened, and a very  
tired-looking Mountie stepped into the room.

"Benny?" Ray said uncertainly.

When he heard Ray's voice Fraser dropped both his bag and his hat on the  
floor. "Ray!" He was across the room in two strides, and then they were in  
each other's arms.

"I missed you, Benny," Ray said, hugging Fraser for all he was worth.

"I missed you, Ray, so much," Fraser admitted, holding on and not letting  
go.

All Ray was aware of was Benny: his warmth, his smell, Benny's breath on  
the side of his neck...

All Benny was aware of was Ray: the Armani jacket, the cologne which  
only half-masked Ray's own smell, his body heat...

Ray realised that they were both breathing heavily.

Fraser realised that hugging Ray wasn't enough anymore.

And there was more. They were standing, pressed hip to hip, and just as  
Ray became aware that he was aroused, he felt Fraser's hardness against him.  
He breathed in sharply, drawing back slightly, and saw that Fraser had  
noticed as well.

They abruptly let go, and stumbled back from one another. But their gaze  
remained locked.

Finally Ray spoke. "What the hell just happened, Benny?"

"I don't know, Ray," Fraser said, truthfully. "I think... I think it's  
just the stress." He didn't say what stress: specifically, the stress of  
being apart.

"Yeah, must be," Ray agreed. "Look, I gotta go."

Fraser felt a sudden terror that he would never see Ray again. "Ray!"

Ray turned at the door. "Yeah?"

"Will I see you tomorrow?" His tone was that of a small child asking for  
a special present.

"Of course you will, Benny. I gotta pick you up for dinner at my house,  
remember? Ma's making your favourite."

"Oh. Yes. Well, see you tomorrow, Ray." Fraser was quite proud of the way  
he said it, calmly and in a light tone.

"Okay. 'Bye."

When Ray had left, Fraser wondered if it truly was just the stress. But  
why should being apart be so stressful? He didn't want the thought to  
surface, but it insisted on floating to the top of his consciousness. It was  
stressful for him because he loved Ray, and stressful for Ray because Ray  
loved him.

As he realised this, Fraser also realised that he'd *always* loved Ray.  
He'd loved him since they'd met, when he'd seen the look in Ray's eyes after  
he stated, "The dead Mountie was my father." He'd known then that Ray wasn't  
the sleazy cop he pretended to be, and he'd worked hard to show *Ray* that  
fact, too.

And he wanted Ray. He finally admitted it to himself. He wanted him more  
than he'd ever wanted anyone, except Victoria. Victoria had been his first  
love, and that was different anyway.

Fraser wondered if there could ever be anything like that between himself  
and Ray. He guessed that Ray would have misgivings, but maybe, just maybe,  
they could work through them together, as they always did.

***

Ray had been through the same thought processes, come to the same  
conclusions. He loved Benny. He'd loved him since Benny had stopped him from  
making a fool of himself with that agent from IA, the one with the hole in  
his shoe. Benny had only ever seen the best in him. Benny had brought out  
his strengths, made him a better cop, a better person.

And he wanted Benny. He didn't *want* to want Benny, but he did. And it  
scared the hell out of him. He didn't believe there was any way he could  
consider having *that* kind of a relationship with Benny, no way. So he had  
to tell Benny that they would always be best friends, but that it could  
never go further. Yes, he had to do that.

***

When Ray walked into Benny's apartment the next night, Benny was ready for  
dinner. He was wearing his leather jacket over a long-sleeved T-shirt, and  
had on a pair of slacks which Ray hadn't seen before.

Ray meant to tell Benny, but something drew him forward the way it had  
these past weeks, and they were hugging again.

"We gotta stop doing this," Ray said, trying not to let the smell and  
feel of Benny in his arms distract him.

"Why?" Fraser asked.

"Whaddaya mean, why? We just have to. This isn't... We shouldn't."

"Ray, I love you." Fraser was the brave one, he just said it right out.

"I know you do, Benny, and I love you, but that's not the point."

"Then what is?"

"I can't have sex with you."

Fraser disengaged from the hug and leaned back far enough to look into  
Ray's eyes. "Why, Ray? Just tell me why."

"Because sex always complicates things. Because we're both men. Because  
we're both cops. Because I'm Catholic. Because people's attitudes would  
change, and I don't want that to happen to you."

"Ray..."

"Please, Benny. You know I'm right. We shouldn't do this."

"I don't know that, but I'll respect your decision." And Benny  
deliberately leaned forward and hugged Ray again. "Kiss me, Ray. Just once."

Ray wanted to refuse, he wanted to pull away and just go get in the Riv  
and drive away, but that voice, and the feel of those arms around him  
stopped him. He pulled back to look at Benny once more, and then slowly  
touched his lips to Benny's.

They tried to sort out the sensations: softness, warmth, then a gentle  
sliding as their mouths opened, then divine wetness as each plundered the  
mouth of the other, licking and tasting, opening wider and wider to one  
another.  
One of Ray's hands worked its way up to the nape of Benny's neck, and  
then higher to clutch his hair, as Benny slid one hand under Ray's jacket  
and caressed him through the shirt he had on.

They stood there for a long time, just kissing and hugging and caressing  
one another, ignoring the need that was becoming more intense with each  
new sensation.

Finally, Ray pulled back. "My mother'll kill me if we're late," he said,  
though his voice hardly worked and it came out sounding like, "M....othr...  
kill... e're...te." Fraser understood him perfectly, of course. He managed  
to get himself under control and let go of Ray.

"I'm ready now," he said.

***

Dinner was loud, as usual, but strange because Ray hardly said a word. He  
was too busy remembering the feel of Benny in his arms, of Benny's mouth on  
his, and how that had not been enough. But it had to be, he kept telling  
himself. It just *had* to.

Fraser was avoiding looking at Ray; he didn't want to think about what  
had happened between them. But despite his resolve, it was all he *could*  
think about. He wished that there was some way for him to convince Ray that  
they could be together, but he knew that if that kiss hadn't done it,  
nothing would. It didn't mean he had to accept it, but he figured he could  
wait a while. He'd waited ten years for Victoria.

***

Ray dropped Fraser back home after dinner and a long visit with the Vecchio  
clan. Ray's mother had *almost* strong-armed Fraser into staying the night,  
but he'd been firm in his refusal. He wanted to be on his own now, he had to  
get back to his life as it had been. Mrs Vecchio hadn't been too happy about  
that, but she'd let him go, exacting a promise from Ray that he'd make sure  
Fraser was all right before coming home.

They walked up to the apartment together, not saying anything. As soon as  
the door closed, however, they were once again wrapped in a hug, unable to  
stop themselves.

"Ray..." Fraser began, the need and desire evident in his voice. "Ray,  
please..."

Ray kissed him quickly, then drew back. "No, Benny. This is all there can  
be. Please, it has to be enough."

"You know it'll never be enough," Fraser responded. "You know."

"Yeah, Benny, I know. I know what I'll be doing when I get home, and I  
know who I'll be thinking of when I'm doing it. That doesn't change  
anything. It just doesn't."

"Ray..." Fraser had that 'reasonable' tone in his voice, the one that Ray  
hated. "If the church looks down on homosexuality *and* masturbation, what's  
the difference which one you perform?"

That was why Ray hated that tone - because Fraser usually made him think  
about things in a new way. In this case Ray really, really didn't want his  
views challenged. He didn't have an answer to this question, either. "I  
don't know, Benny. It just seems less... I dunno, less. And if I'm by myself  
no one can implicate you, can they?"

"It's not that simple, Ray."

"No, it's not, and I'm not discussing this with you." Ray pulled out of  
the loose embrace and went to the door. "It's this or nothing, Benny."

"I love you, Ray," was the only answer as he went out.

Fraser went into the bathroom - if it could be called that. It only  
contained a small mirror, sink and a toilet - all the other facilities were  
down the hall. But Fraser didn't need facilities. He just needed to touch  
himself, to relieve the aching need he felt. But even as he touched,  
squeezed and stroked himself to a climax, he knew that it wouldn't really  
help. It wasn't *relief* he wanted, it was *Ray*.

***

It was difficult for both of them after that. Ray was adamant that nothing  
more would happen, and they managed to keep to the agreement, but it was  
difficult to stand there wrapped around each other, and kiss, without doing  
anything else. They had developed a pattern of having the physical contact  
at the *end* of the evening, so that it was much easier to rush home, or  
into the bathroom, and take care of the sexual tension it inevitably caused.

Ray seemed to be getting crankier by the day, too, and his family and  
workmates all noticed it. "You need to get laid, Vecchio," one of the patrol  
officers said crassly while they were in the locker room getting ready for a  
raid.

Ray wanted to punch the guy, but he turned at the last minute and punched  
the locker instead, muttering, "Stay the hell out of my life."

Lieutenant Welsh was in the locker room at the time and heard this. He'd  
known Ray Vecchio for years; he'd watched him become a better and better  
cop, and he could read him pretty well. There was something in that  
reaction, he knew. If only he could figure out what it was, before Vecchio  
really did punch someone. But until then he had more important things to do.  
"Vecchio, my office please."

Ray looked a little sorry. "Sir, if it's about what just happened..."

"We'll discuss that in private." Welsh walked off, and Ray had no choice  
but to follow.

"Sir..."

"Can it, Detective." Welsh wasn't in a particularly good mood, and Ray  
would soon know why. "Do you know who I have waiting downstairs right now?"

"Uh, no idea, Sir."

"A reporter."

"Reporter, Sir?"

"That's right. And would you like to guess what she's doing here?"

"Wouldn't dare, Sir."

"Uh huh. Well, she wants to do a story on you and Big Red."

"Lieutenant..." Ray began, but he really had no idea what he wanted to  
say, so he shut up again.

Welsh continued, "Something about how this department's record for  
solving crimes has gone up since you and Fraser started your unofficial  
partnership. She wants to follow you around, see how you two interact, that  
sort of thing."

Ray went white with fear, which surprised Welsh. He'd have thought  
Vecchio would jump at the chance to get his name in the papers.

But of course Ray was terrified that a reporter would find things out  
about himself and Benny that he didn't want people to know. He tried to  
compose a reasonable reason for refusing. "Sir, I don't think that's really  
a good idea. Fraser's been in the papers already. I played second fiddle  
last time, and I don't wanna do it again."

"She promised that you and the Chicago PD would get equal time."

"They all say that, Sir, until they meet him."

"I know." Welsh sighed. "I don't want a reporter in my station house. You  
come up with a good reason for refusing, and we'll refuse. She'll probably  
do an article anyway - a negative one - but that's not so unusual, is it,  
Vecchio?"

"Ah, no, Sir."

"What's your reason?"

"I hate reporters?"

Welsh grinned, just a little. "Works for me."

"You'll tell her, won't you, Sir? Thank you." And Ray rushed out of the  
office before his superior could refuse.

He didn't get out of the building, of course, before the woman came rushing  
up to him. "Detective Vecchio!"

Ray sighed in an exaggerated fashion and turned to face her. "I suppose  
you're her. The reporter. Well, hi. Now go away."

"Why are you making this so difficult?"

"Look, my job is difficult enough without having to watch your back as  
well as mine. And I don't like reporters. Besides for which, these things  
always end up making the Chicago PD look like jerks, and the Canadians look  
like the original Boy Scouts. I'm tired of looking like a jerk."

"I already promised..."

"Yeah, yeah, we'd get equal time. You say that now. You haven't met  
Fraser yet, have you?"

The reporter looked confused. "No."

"Tell me that after you meet him."

"If I can, will you let me do the story?"

"If you can, I'll talk to you. But you are *not* riding with me on the  
job!"

Ray was firm, and the reporter could see it. "All right. Will you grant  
an interview, at least?"

"Sure, maybe. What's your name, anyway?"

"Carolyn Grey."

"Well, Ms Grey, you don't go all goo-goo on me when you meet Fraser, I'll  
talk to you." As Ray was saying this, he saw the reporter - Carolyn - look  
behind him with a look on her face Ray associated with women and Benny. It  
was the, "Oh-my-God-that-is-the-most-beautiful-man-I've-ever-seen" look. He  
turned around, and, true as anything, there was Fraser. He wasn't wearing  
his uniform - it was his day off - so the woman obviously didn't know it was  
'The Mountie'.

Fraser smiled and said only, "Ray."

Ray tried to compose himself. "Hey, Benny."

The reporter stuck out a hand. "Carolyn."

Ray gave her a disgusted look and said, "This is Carolyn Grey, she's a  
reporter. She wants to follow us around and do a story."

Fraser got the same frightened look on his face that Ray had worn  
earlier. "I'm Benton Fraser," he said carefully, "but I don't think... That  
is to say..."

"He means no," Ray interrupted.

"Uh, yes, that would be correct. Not that I don't respect what reporters  
do, but... Ray?!" Fraser resorted to his cry for help when he was out of his  
depth.

"We've had experiences with reporters before," Ray put in. "And I saw the  
look on your face."

"What look?" asked both Carolyn and Fraser at the same time.

Ray just sighed and went out to his car, ignoring them.

***

They sat in the Riv, Ray just driving aimlessly. "I'm glad you said no,"  
Fraser said. "I think... I mean, I probably would have..."

"Save it, Benny. You're a pushover, is what you mean."

"Well, yes."

"Yeah, well, we can't have some reporter looking into our lives, can we?"

"Ray..." Fraser began, but he didn't need to continue. He agreed with Ray  
on this one.

"And now we have to be careful. She could be lurking around any bush."

***

Ray was astute, and also correct. But after more than a week had passed,  
they allowed themselves to relax. There hadn't been any excitement, and she  
had stopped following them, they noticed.

As Ray pulled up to the curb outside Fraser's apartment building, Fraser  
asked him to come in.

"Benny, you know this isn't a good idea."

"Please, Ray. I have to touch you."

That was all Ray needed to hear. He was out of the car in a flash, and  
then they were in the apartment, and in one another's arms.

It felt so good, Ray thought, as he let himself breathe Benny's scent  
again, as he felt those strong arms about him. Sex or no sex, he needed  
Benny desperately, and he knew Benny needed him.

Fraser watched Ray draw back to look into his eyes, and he saw the love  
there. But he stopped himself from blurting out yet again that he loved Ray.  
He knew Ray liked to hear it, but it just made things more difficult. But  
then Ray surprised him.

"I love you, Benny."

Benny couldn't help himself. He fastened his mouth to Ray's and kissed  
him for all he was worth.

The kiss went on for a long time, and both men were extremely aroused.  
Ray was starting to think that maybe... when Benny's hand came down and  
covered the evidence of his desire, caressing him through his pants.

"No!" Ray pushed himself away from Fraser, panting.

Fraser just stood there, no calmer than Ray was. "I'm sorry, Ray."

Ray ran a hand over his face. "It's not your fault, Benny, it's me. I  
just can't..."

Fraser ran his nail over his forehead in the familiar gesture that  
always made Ray feel happy and contented. "I understand." He sighed.  
"Perhaps you should have gone home, Ray. Perhaps you should go home."

Benny was right, as usual. "Yeah." Ray went to the door. "Goodnight,  
Benny."

"Goodnight, Ray," his friend responded.

Both ended up in the bathrooms of their respective residences, performing  
the same ritual.

***

Ray picked Fraser up the next day, as Fraser was going to help him with a  
small detail on a case which he was quite close to solving.

"What's gonna happen with us, Benny?" he asked as they drove.

"I don't know, Ray," Fraser replied, and it was the honest truth. They  
loved each other, but they both knew that this situation could not go on  
forever.

When they walked into the precinct, they knew immediately that there was  
something wrong. People were staring at them with... morbid curiosity??

"Ray?" Fraser asked, almost under his breath.

"I see it, Benny. I have no idea. Keep walking."

They reached the squadroom, to find Huey and some other detectives  
staring. Even Elaine was looking at them. Ray couldn't take it, of course.  
"WHAT?!"

Elaine walked up and was about to explain when Welsh opened his door and  
beckoned the two of them in.

"Sir, what's going on?" Ray asked, thoroughly confused.

Welsh didn't say anything, just handed him a paper. Ray put it flat on  
the desk to see, and...

"Oh, God."

On the front page was - of course - a picture of him and Benny, hugging.  
In fact, it looked like the event of last night. The headline just rubbed  
it in. "UNOFFICIAL PARTNERSHIP GOOD FOR EVERYONE," the headline yelled.

Ray scanned the article, and while it didn't come right out and *say*  
that they were having an affair, it might as well have said it in ten foot  
high blazing red letters. The article rehashed what other articles had said  
about himself and Fraser, only to add the implication that it was an  
intimate partnership as well. Thank goodness the article hadn't mentioned  
Dief. Who knew what that reporter could imply about owning a wolf!

Ray looked at Welsh with shock. "Sir, this article is way off base. Since  
when it is against the law to hug one's friend?" He noticed that Fraser was  
standing there quietly, not moving a muscle. It was probably just as well;  
there was such a thing as protesting too much.

"Don't bother, Detective," Welsh said, and placed a glossy black and  
white photo on top of the paper. This photo left nothing to the imagination.  
It was of the two of them, kissing.

"Oh, God," mumbled Ray again, and behind him he heard the Mountie gasp.

Welsh sat down, looking comfy. "That one would be too much, even for a  
city like ours. So she went with the less... provocative one. Nice of her,  
wasn't it?"

"Sir..." Ray began, but Welsh didn't let him finish.

"And then she thoughtfully drops this one off for me. This is just what I  
needed to start my day, Vecchio. Thanks."

"Benny and I are *not* having an affair," stated Ray emphatically.

"That's true, Sir," Fraser put in.

"It doesn't matter, Constable, don't you see? All of Chicago will read  
this and draw their own conclusions. What are you gonna do anyway, sue? She  
has *pictures*. And don't tell me this is some computer-generated thing.  
This is a picture from the building across the street from your apartment.  
We checked everything that time..." He trailed off, knowing that both Ray  
and Fraser didn't like discussing the Victoria Incident. "Good picture. She  
should be commended. Telephoto lens, if I'm not mistaken. Bam, right into  
your living room." Welsh sat back, looking at Ray. "The question here is,  
what am I gonna do about this?"

"We could issue an official denial."

"I don't think so. That might get this lovely shot printed. Do you really  
want that?"

Ray went quiet. "No."

"Agreed. So here's what we do instead. You take a short leave of absence.  
A week, two weeks. Until things calm down and people find something else to  
fixate over. And you..." Here Fraser stepped forward, still standing at  
attention, "You don't come here for... oh, a long time. And if you have to  
come here, don't wear... you know."

Fraser knew he meant the dress reds. "Understood, Sir."

They turned as one to go, but Welsh's voice stopped them. "You really  
aren't having an affair?"

"No, Sir. I mean, no, we're not," Fraser answered, with his usual  
clarity.

"Then what's *that* about?" he asked, indicating the photo in which they  
were kissing.

Ray grabbed the photo off Welsh's desk and put it in his jacket. "With  
all due respect, Lieutenant, that's none of your business."

***

Fraser got much the same speech from Inspector Thatcher at the Consulate.  
She, too, had a photo of them kissing, thoughtfully dropped off by the  
vengeful reporter. However, she ripped it to shreds in front of them, making  
both men feel that if she could have ripped *them* to shreds, she would  
have.

"Do you know what kind of damage control I'm going to have to do now,  
Fraser? Did you once think about that?"

"Ma'am, I..."

"For goodness' sakes, Fraser, buy *curtains*!"

This completely nonplussed both of them. "What?" asked Ray.

"Curtains. You hang them in front of windows to stop people seeing into  
your house. Your salary *does* stretch to curtains, I assume?"

"Er... yes, Sir."

"Fine." Thatcher continued talking, but more to herself than them. "I  
won't be able to put you on guard duty for a while... No use in deliberately  
provoking this city's bigoted element... You're on desk duty for a month,  
Fraser, starting next week. This week, you're taking off. Unpaid, of  
course."

"If you don't pay him, how's he supposed to pay for the curtains?" asked  
Ray. It just slipped out; he couldn't help himself.

Thatcher fixed him with a glare. "You're on thin ice as it is, Detective.  
Don't push it."

"Yes, Ma'am." Ray subsided immediately.

"Dismissed."

***

Ray wanted to go straight back to Fraser's place, but Fraser had other  
ideas. He seemed to have taken Thatcher's curtain idea as an order, and  
insisted on stopping at a curtaining store on the way.

"Benny, I'm sure she didn't mean *now*." Ray sounded impatient.

Fraser was busily going through racks of curtains. "Yes, she did, Ray."

"Benny, this doesn't look good. I mean, you and me in this store,  
together..."

"It's all right, Ray," Fraser said, gathering the material and taking it  
to the salesgirl. "Three of this one, please."

Ray tried not to cringe at the idea of Benny buying pre-sewn curtains. In  
his house the women did the decorating, and curtains and such were  
custom-made.

But Benny merely paid for the curtains, and strolled out of the store.

***

Fraser also made Ray help him put them up, and then he stood back to admire  
them. "I suppose the place does look a little less... spartan... now."

"Yeah, Benny. A regular cosy home." Ray's voice dripped with sarcasm,  
and... something else.

Fraser turned round to ask Ray what he really thought, but suddenly Ray  
was there, wrapping him in his arms.

"Ray?" asked Fraser, suddenly alarmed.

"Shut up, Fraser," Ray said as his mouth claimed the Mountie's, backing  
him up against the wall.

***

This time the kiss was not the only thing happening between them, as Fraser  
found Ray lifting up his undershirt - he had taken the tunic off while  
hanging the curtains.

Ray's hands suddenly touched bare skin, and Fraser gasped as arousal tore  
through him. "Ray, what... what are you doing?" he asked as Ray's mouth left  
his and began to kiss his stomach.

"What do you think, Benny? I'm making love to you. Isn't that what you  
wanted?" The undershirt was lifted up some more, and Ray's mouth fastened  
onto a nipple, while his fingers performed their magic on the other one.

Fraser pulled the undershirt off over his head, trying to remember what  
he'd been about to ask. "Ray... why... now?"

That delightful tugging stopped as Ray stopped his suckling and  
straightened up, looking him in the eye. "It doesn't matter anymore, Benny,  
don't you see? No one will believe we're not lovers."

"You mean that since we've been accused of it, we might as well do it?"  
The idea was intellectually distasteful to Fraser, but he wanted Ray so  
badly that the rest of him found the idea perfectly acceptable.

"Yeah," responded Ray, bending his head to Fraser's chest again.

Fraser tried to form some sort of response, but all that came out was a  
groan of pleasure at what Ray was doing.

Ray wanted to do this so badly, more for Fraser than himself. He knew  
that people would think they were lovers anyway, so why deny Benny and  
himself something on principle? And not even that - why deny themselves  
because of the pressures of a society that glorified sex and yet tried to  
deny love between men? And he loved Benny, and Benny loved him. That was  
enough.

Still, it took all his concentration to slip his hand down, into Benny's  
pants, to find him hard and ready for this. Ray shifted his mouth to the  
other nipple, and curled his fingers around Benny's shaft, lightly touching,  
and then squeezing carefully.

Fraser's eyes snapped open as Ray touched him. Yes, yes, yes, he wanted  
to cry, this was what he had wanted all along. To be here with Ray when he  
came, to feel Ray touching him, to feel Ray's hands and mouth on him. Oh,  
yes! "More," he finally managed to get out. "Faster." When Ray simply  
continued his leisurely squeezes and touches, Fraser gasped, "Ray, please!"  
He felt Ray smile against him, and then his instructions were obeyed.

Ray squeezed and stroked Fraser, unable to believe his delight in being  
the one causing the moans of pleasure in his friend. Benny was also -  
probably unconsciously - moving against him in his need. And as he continued  
to touch Benny, the movements became sharper and faster. Ray knew that Benny  
was going to come, and he wanted to see his face. He lifted his head from  
Benny's chest and brought himself level with him, never once faltering in  
his attentions to Benny's penis. "Benny, look at me."

Fraser's eyes focused on him, and it was the most beautiful thing Ray had  
ever seen. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" Ray asked, and that seemed  
to do it - Benny's arms came around him as he let out incoherent sounds of  
pleasure and ejaculated into Ray's hand.

Ray continued to stroke and squeeze him until Benny's movements stopped  
as he leaned back against the wall, sated, his eyes closed.

"I love you, Benny," Ray said, and kissed him, removing his hand from  
Benny's pants.

Benny clutched at him for dear life as his mouth opened and he plundered  
Ray's mouth possessively.

When Ray finally managed to move away, Fraser looked into his eyes. "I  
love you, Ray."

Ray was about to say something when those strong Mountie arms grabbed him  
and pushed *him* against the wall. "Benny...?" Ray asked in surprise as  
Fraser began undoing the buttons on his shirt, unbuckling his belt, and  
yanking his pants and briefs right down. "Benny?" Ray asked again, and  
Fraser simply stated, "I'm going to taste you now, Ray." He licked Ray's  
chest, flicking only superficially over each nipple, then licked his way  
downwards, finally reaching the erection that was waiting for him.

"Benny... I..." Ray wasn't sure if he was ready for this, but then  
Benny's mouth closed right over him, and speech seemed to be unnecessary as  
pleasure took over. Ray just stood there, against the wall, and experienced  
the wonderful feelings that Benny was causing. His wife had done this for  
him, once, and it hadn't felt like it did now. She hadn't liked it, and had  
been in the bathroom with mouthwash for half an hour afterwards, but Ray  
knew that Benny wouldn't be like that. Benny would keep this up until he  
came, and then... Ray grew harder at the thought of tasting his essence in  
Benny's mouth. He had to force himself not to move as he grew closer and  
closer to release, wishing he had done this for Benny first.

Fraser sucked gently, but subtly increased the pressure every so often,  
wanting to take Ray over the edge in a nice, slow pace. Wanting this to  
last, wanting to taste the most intimate part of Ray. He didn't know what  
would happen tomorrow - if this was all he got, he wanted it to be perfect.  
Eventually, he could feel that Ray was close by the tiny thrusts he was  
struggling to control, and Benny sucked strongly, waiting, waiting...

"Oh God!" Ray yelled, when he burst into the mouth of his lover. "Oh,  
Benny, oh God, oh, oh..." He was stunned by the intensity of the orgasm, and  
by the way Benny didn't move, he just continued what he'd been doing until  
Ray started to slide down the wall.

Fraser let Ray's penis slip from his mouth, and held him tight, sliding  
with him, ending up straddling Ray, their faces mere inches apart.

Ray opened his eyes and looked at him, then leaned forward eagerly and  
thrust his tongue into Benny's mouth, becoming turned on again when he *did*  
in fact taste himself there. It was too much. He ended the kiss and pulled  
away a little, the surprise and pleasure evident in his eyes. "Benny," was  
all he could say.

"Yes, Ray?" Fraser asked innocently.

"You gotta let me do that sometime."

"Anytime you like," his lover said. *Lover*. Yes, that was right. Lovers.  
The newspaper article wasn't lying anymore.

***

The week off was spent in Fraser's apartment, doing very little except  
eating, sleeping and making love. Ray learnt just what Benny liked when he  
performed oral sex, and Benny in turn took pains to learn which techniques  
produced the strongest orgasms. They learnt how to touch each other so that  
they came at nearly the same time, and Fraser discovered that sixty-nine was  
more than just a number.

But neither of them said anything about trying the most intimate thing of  
all. They were each afraid that the other would refuse. Despite this, the  
week went by quickly.

***

Ray returned to work, where he was still stared at, but nobody said  
anything. Bigots were everywhere, but most of the cops in the precinct liked  
Ray, and had come to respect his work. Ray couldn't know, of course, that  
Welsh had also lined the entire workforce of the precinct up and told them  
that if he heard anything filter back to him about harassment, they would  
be on parking violations for the next ten years.

Ray's family had reacted... unpredictably... after the article had been  
printed. Ray had gone home after that first time, and told them that the  
article was true. His mother had been confused, but had told him he would  
always be her son, no matter what. Frannie had said she'd sensed there was  
more between them than simple friendship, but that if Ray hurt Fraser she'd  
kill him. Maria had asked some pretty embarrassing questions, but Ray had  
answered them honestly because he desperately wanted her to understand. Tony  
had the mistaken idea that all homosexuals were paedophiles, and had to be  
disabused of that notion in a hurry. Once Ray had gotten that into Tony's  
head, Tony just shrugged and said it was Ray's life.

Ray had been pleasantly surprised when his mother had told him that  
Fraser was still welcome, and still a part of their family, probably more so  
now. There was just one rule: no physical contact in front of the children.  
And that was easy to agree to.

***

Fraser didn't go to the precinct for a couple of weeks, something that he  
missed. He had always missed the 'cop' environment when he wasn't in it, and  
the precinct was the closest thing in Chicago to his workplace up in the  
Yukon. But at least he didn't have to do guard duty either. Thatcher was  
afraid - not without valid reason - that some homophobic loony would try  
something. Now no one stood guard duty outside the Consulate. Thatcher knew  
that to some people, one Mountie looked pretty much like another one.

Fraser was surprised that his superior officer hadn't said much to him  
about the whole story, except for that dressing-down he and Ray had gotten  
after the article was printed. Fraser couldn't have known that Thatcher was  
both relieved and sad that she no longer had to worry about whether the two  
of them could have had something.

***

They had been lovers for nearly a month when Ray finally needed Fraser's  
help on a case. He had to find witnesses in a shooting at a convenience  
store, and so far he hadn't had much luck. Fraser offered to help him  
interview street people who frequented that neighbourhood, to find out  
what people went there regularly. That was what they were going to do today,  
if Welsh okay'd it.

Elaine smiled when she saw the Mountie appear in the doorway to the  
squadroom. No one had seen them together since that article had come out,  
and everyone stared to see what would happen. They were disappointed,  
however, when Fraser simply went up to Ray's desk and greeted him the way  
he always had. "Good morning, Ray."

"Hey, Benny. Have a seat, I just have to finish typing this."

Fraser sat, and began to explain the insights he had already formed. Dief  
became bored, so he wandered over to Elaine's desk in search of a jelly  
doughnut. Same ol', same ol'. Eventually everyone stopped staring.

Welsh stuck his head out the door. "Vecchio. Constable." They went into  
his office to explain what they thought needed to be done about the case.  
When that was over, Ray asked if he could stay an extra minute.

"Sure." Welsh felt he knew what was coming, as Fraser went out and Ray  
turned to him, looking nervous. "What is it, Detective?"

"Remember when I said the article wasn't true?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's true now."

"I know, Vecchio. Well, I knew you and Big Red cared about each other,  
that it was only a matter of time."

"Sir, I... What do you think it'll be like for me?"

"It'll be fine, because anyone who tries anything will get a lifetime job  
as a meter maid," Welsh stated firmly. "You're one of my men, Vecchio, and  
no one better mess with that."

Ray had never heard Welsh state his loyalty to the officers working for  
him in quite that way before. He'd always known Welsh cared about what  
happened to them, but this was still a revelation. He wasn't sure what to  
say. "Uh, Sir..."

"Just get out for now, and go and solve the case."

"Yes, Sir." Ray left, gathering Fraser on the way.

***

The first witness they spoke to refused to say anything, but the second one  
was helpful. She pointed out their suspect in a line-up. "He won't know who  
I am, will he? I mean, he killed those people in the store, he'll hardly  
notice one more if he finds out about me."

"Even if he gets bail, which I doubt, the only time he'll see you or even  
really know about you is when you testify in court. And once you do that,  
this sicko will be behind bars for the rest of his life." Ray squeezed her  
hand. "Trust me."

The woman sighed, feeling a little better. "I want to do the right thing,  
but I'm scared."

"That's quite natural. Just remember that if by chance he does get bail  
and the rules about evidence force the State's Attorney to give them what we  
have, we'll protect you. I promise."

"As do I," Fraser added.

Ray smiled. "And you know Mounties *never* lie."

The woman's eyes widened in comprehension. She hadn't made the connection  
because Fraser had obeyed Lieutenant Welsh and worn civvies to the precinct.  
"You... you're..."

"Yeah, yeah, that's us," Ray said, not wanting to hear what she would  
say.

"Is it true, what the article implied? You're..." She lowered her voice.  
"Lovers?"

"What difference would it make if we were?" Ray was getting a little  
angry now.

The woman had the grace to blush. "None. I'm sorry, it's none of my  
business." The sergeant on duty arrived then to escort her out, and Ray  
turned to Fraser. "Damn right it's none of her business!"

"Ray, calm down. You can't afford to get upset every time someone says  
something."

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry, Benny."

They exited the room just as their suspect was being led from the line-up  
room. He turned and sneered at them. "You got nothing on me!"

Ray was immediately angry again. For all his cynical demeanour, he hated  
to see injustice in the world. "You're goin' down for this, Samuels. You hear  
me? You killed those people, and you're goin' down."

"Sure. Just wait until the jury hears the arresting officer's a faggot  
who likes being fucked in the ass! I bet they'll be climbing over each other  
to set me free!"

If Fraser hadn't been there to restrain Ray, Samuels would have been a  
bloody pulp. As it was, Ray didn't get near the guy, and the cops escorting  
him hustled him out of harm's way.

Ray went back into the observation room and leaned against the wall,  
breathing heavily. Fraser became concerned when he didn't say anything.

"Ray? Are you all right?"

"That's what they all think, isn't it?" Ray finally said.

"I'm sure they don't, not really..." Fraser began, but Ray pushed himself  
away from the wall and left the room, and the precinct.

***

Fraser had to walk back to his apartment, his tension ebbing away somewhat  
when he saw the green Buick Riviera parked out front. Dief barked when he  
saw the car, and trotted happily up the stairs to the apartment. Fraser  
followed.

Ray was sitting at the table, staring at something in his hands.

"Ray?"

"You know what bothers me the most, Benny? That they think that, and  
we've never done it."

Fraser was startled. "Done... it? You mean..." He wasn't sure how to put  
it.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Benny, not now! We haven't ever done that,  
made love that way."

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah."  
"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought you wouldn't like it, Benny. I mean, we were both straight,  
before, or thought we were, whatever. Using our mouths and hands I can  
rationalize. I've done it for women, they've done it... well, some of it...  
for me. But this... once we do this we can't rationalize anymore."

Fraser stood just behind Ray, his hands on Ray's shoulders. "I don't want  
to rationalize, Ray. I love you, and I want to express that love, in as many  
ways as I can."

"So you want me to fuck you?" Ray winced as soon as he said it; it  
sounded so crude that way.

"Yes." The hands on his shoulders tightened. "Well, I want you to make  
love to me, Ray. There is a difference."

"I know." Ray held up the tube he'd been staring at. Lubricant;  
strawberry flavoured.

"Strawberry?"

"It was the only kind they had left, okay?" Ray looked up at Fraser as a  
smile spread across his face.

"Then we'll have to try it." There was a pause. "Ray... I want to make  
love to you, as well."

Ray finally stood up and faced his lover. "I know, Benny. I wouldn't have  
it any other way." He leaned forward and kissed Benny, and felt unbridled  
joy as Benny opened to him, kissing him urgently.

They let the kiss continue as they undressed each other slowly, savouring  
this. Ray slid Benny's jacket off and unbuttoned his shirt, then let Benny  
do the same for him.

Fraser loved to undress Ray - he loved unbuckling the belt, undoing the  
top, and sliding the zipper down so, so slowly... He did that now, and  
watched as Ray's pants pooled on the floor. He reached for Ray with his  
mouth again, needing that contact as he pulled Ray towards him, running his  
hands over the briefs which Ray was still wearing. He was only now finding  
out that touching Ray through his underwear was very stimulating for both of  
them.

Ray squirmed to let Fraser know that it was his turn, then he unbuckled  
the belt and unsnapped Fraser's jeans, one button at a time. He was glad  
this pair didn't have a zipper; the buttons were more sexy somehow. Finally  
the jeans came off, and they stood there wearing only their underwear, shoes  
and socks.

When the shoes and socks were removed, Ray's hand came down to touch the  
bulge in Fraser's boxer shorts, kneading and squeezing until he heard  
Fraser's breath coming in gasps. He stopped, then, as Benny kissed him once  
more, and he felt Benny's hand go under the briefs to firmly touch his  
buttocks and bring their groins into intimate contact. Then he felt Benny's  
hand slide around to his rear, into the cleft, touching him there softly but  
not doing anything more. "Make love to me first, Benny," he said.

Fraser looked relieved and delighted at this, but he still had to ask.  
"Ray... are you sure?"

"Yeah." Ray leaned over and retrieved the tube from the table. "Here."

Fraser took it, looking at it in all seriousness, then squeezed the tube  
and sniffed what came out onto his fingers. "This isn't real strawberry  
flavour, Ray. Real strawberries are..."

Ray forestalled the lecture by grabbing the tube, squeezing some onto his  
own hand, and sliding it onto Benny's flesh.

"Ah! Ray!" Fraser arched forward, and Ray looked into his eyes seriously,  
then turned, trying to work out the best way to do this.

"Maybe if you leaned over the table..." suggested Fraser, and Ray did  
exactly that.

"Do it, Benny, and hurry. I need you."

Fraser was careful, sliding one finger inside, then another. Ray didn't  
protest so he assumed everything was okay. He moved the fingers a little,  
and Ray gasped with pleasure.

Fraser knew anatomy. "Ray, I think I touched..." He began to speak, but  
Ray overrode him.

"Just do it again, please!"

Benny did as he was bidden, and Ray groaned out loud and turned his head  
back to look at him. "Now, Benny. Make love to me."

Benny did not need to be told twice, as he replaced his fingers with his  
penis, sliding in slowly, still being careful. When he was all the way in  
he whispered, "All right?"

Ray responded by moving back against him, and Fraser was overcome with  
the wonderful sensation of being tightly held by his friend's body. He began  
to thrust - slowly at first, but then more quickly as the sensations  
overwhelmed him. He could hardly believe that he was here, doing this,  
actually making love to Ray. But the evidence was right in front of him:  
Ray, open to him, wanting him, writhing against him in pleasure; Ray,  
enjoying being possessed in this way. That thought alone drove him closer to  
orgasm, and he had to hold onto Ray's hips to steady himself.

Then Ray's voice whispered, "Let go, Benny, it's okay..." And so he did,  
thrusting hard one last time, arching his back and biting down to stop  
himself from crying out as he came inside the man that he loved.

It seemed a lifetime before he was coherent enough to move away, and he  
heard Ray make a little sound of loss when he did so. "Ray?"

"It's okay, Benny, it's fine. I... feeling you... it..." He didn't know  
what he wanted to say, so he just kept quiet, straightening up and turning  
around into Benny's arms. He wasn't sure whether he just wanted to collapse  
in a happy heap now, or whether he wanted to bury himself so deep inside his  
friend that neither of them could tell who was who anymore. Either way, he  
felt he'd melt into Benny.

Fraser, in turn, felt like his insides would tremble into a thousand  
pieces and fall out; he held onto Ray to keep himself together. They just  
stood there, together, letting their surroundings come into focus again.  
Finally Fraser whispered, "Let's lie down, Ray," and Ray eagerly walked with  
him to the bed.

They lay on their sides facing each other, not feeling any particular  
need to talk, or do anything for that matter. Just *being* was enough.

***

Ray awoke with surprise four hours later. He was still lying facing Benny,  
although their arms and legs had somehow become entangled while they slept.  
They had slept in the same bed before, but now - something was different.

He looked at Benny - in sleep Benny looked even more naturally beautiful  
than when he was awake, and Ray knew he was privileged to see it. He  
refrained from touching Benny, because he just wanted to watch Benny this  
way, but after about half an hour those eyelids fluttered and deep blue eyes  
looked across at him.

"Ray."

"You're beautiful when you sleep," Ray informed him. "Every time I see  
it, you just get more beautiful. And now that we've really made love..." He  
trailed off, touching Benny's lips with his fingers. "Will you let me make  
love to you, Benny?"

"Of course, Ray."

So Ray did. He revelled in first touching Benny intimately, smoothing the  
lubricant into him, then watching as Benny put some on him, unable to stop  
himself from giving Ray's erection a quick caress, then watching as Benny  
turned on his side, waiting, and finally, joining with him, and moving in  
him, and coming in him, leaving his seed behind as a gift.

They slept some more after that, contented and in love.

Fraser awoke to find Ray sitting on the bed looking at the black and white  
glossy of them kissing. "Ray?"

"This is really us, isn't it?" Ray asked, touching the photo almost with  
wonder.

"Yes, Ray." Fraser's arms came around him from the back and he rested his  
head on Ray's shoulder.

"I'm not ashamed, Benny. I love you." And it had taken Ray a long time to  
realise that he wasn't ashamed, to realise that he never *had* been ashamed.  
What he'd been was nervous, apprehensive. Never ashamed.

Then Fraser asked a question in a serious tone. "Ray? You don't think  
that what Samuels said will happen, do you? Juries in this country don't..."

"No, Benny." Ray was very reassuring. "If it was relevant to the case,  
maybe. But odds are the judge and jury have seen the article. The judge will  
probably just instruct them to consider the *evidence*. And we have lots of  
evidence now."

"So that's it, then?" Fraser asked.

"Well, yeah," Ray replied, grinning almost obscenely at his lover. "The  
Dynamic Duo wins again!"

"Interesting that you would put it that way," Fraser mused.

Ray tried to explain. "It's from comic books, where..." And this time,  
surprisingly, the Mountie kissed *him* to shut him up.

"I know, Ray. I meant that you mentioned winning. Have we won?"

"I hope so, Benny." Ray grinned. "Isn't love always supposed to win out?"

"That's a terrible cliche, Ray," his lover admonished him.

"I like cliches," Ray responded, wrestling the man he loved to the  
mattress and showing him that cliches are called that because they're usually  
true.

THE END


End file.
